The Story Of A Suicide!

“In everybody’s life there’s a point of no return. And in a very few cases, a point where you can’t go forward anymore. And when we reach that point, all we can do is quietly accept the fact. That’s how we survive.”

                         ~Haruki Murakami,

 

Life is a constant struggle. No one down the ages has ever said that it would be easy. One has to pass through several trials and tribulations in the journey of life on a regular basis and overcome the hurdles to survive in this world.Humans seem to be hardwired to adapt to their circumstances and find ways to challenge any threat they face and come out victorious most often.

 

Each human has this inherent desire for living n surviving even in the hardest of circumstances and conditions.Generally, this human spirit of strength prevails and the person remains afloat in the whirlpool of life in spite of hundreds of setbacks and failures, in hope for better times ahead.

 

But sometimes, there  comes a point when all hope shatters, and one feels completely helpless and defeated in the race of life. There seems to be no solution to the problems they are facing, there is no way in sight to escape from where they are stuck.They start considering themselves as total failures. At this point, they think that only way to end their suffering  and pain is to end their lives. The thought of suicide grips them and entangles them completely.

 

To kill is not easy! and to kill one’s own self, even more so!

 

So why are they strong enough to kill themselves but not strong enough to live?

 

Is it that they have not failed, BUT, the society, the world  has failed them?

 

Such drastic steps come to mind when there is no hope left, person becomes totally hopeless. Humans need hope to live their lives and face the difficulties and hardships, in anticipation of a brighter and better tomorrow. Hope takes away the pain of today and washes away the frustration of the past regrets. Without hope, it becomes difficult to face the stark realities of life.

 

Recently i read the novel ‘THE STORY OF A SUICIDE ‘on this important issue by Sriram Ayer. In this, the stories of Hari, Charu, Sam and Mani have been narrated in a gripping style. The lives of these four youngsters are connected through a web of love, passion, revenge and deceit. The story line is powerful and the struggles of the young people have been very well verbalized through the story. The book can be read here http://www.storyofasuicide.com

It is a very good attempt to reach out to youngsters and make them understand their emotions and reactions better. After each chapter of the book, there is a information and guidance section with  how to overcome, do’s and don’t on various relevant topics like depression, heartbreak, loss, failure, harassment, sexual abuse, loneliness, complicated relationships, hurt,sadness and the proper course of action in such circumstances is suggested in a very comprehensive format. This feature is really commendable and makes the novel a self help guide. http://www.storyofasuicide.com/how-do-i-all.html
The book successfully highlights the important topics of societal prejudices and stereotyping, judgmental attitude about sexual orientation of an individual, sexual abuse stigma, harassment and lack of support system for those who are in distress.
Different chapters of the book bring forth  the struggles and hurdles the characters come across in their lives and how the society adds to making live hell for them. How Hari is judged for being a gay, Charu for being an independent minded strong girl,Mani for his poverty and lack of English know how and how Sam reacts irrationally to un-reciprocated love and  Is not society meant to have a cushioning and supporting effect for its individuals in times of need? The societal expectations and conformist attitude plays a havoc in their lives and almost  drives them insane. Once their emotions start the downward spiral towards regret,sadness, guilt or fear, their mental frame work seems to be out of control.
The human behavior and its shortcomings are nicely depicted. The book is truly a mirror to present day society and its parameters of judgement. We regularly come across similar cases in mainstream media. But raising such issues is just not enough, long term feasible solutions need to be discussed and found for such issues. This book is a strong step in such  a direction.
Some lines worth highlighting which had a deep impact on me are mentioned below

Perfection is a road, not a destination!

 

Perfection is but an illusion ! Strive for improvement, not for perfection. If you feel perfection is a static state , then it is non-achievable. But improvement is a state of motion, a constant work towards progress.

 

” Perfection doesn’t exist in anyone. Striving for perfection in any part of our lives is a recipe for failure, since it can never be attained.”              ~Dr John Grohol

 

If one sets perfection to be the ultimate goal, yet is not able to achieve it in due time, it can lead to frustration and also to aversion towards taking risks which can further develop into fear.

 

” If you look for perfection, you’ll never be content.”             ~Leo Tolstoy

 

The constant pursuit of perfection can nevertheless lead us to excellence.

So keep chasing Perfection, in order to excel!

 

 

 

Believe In Yourself During Times Of Struggle !

The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern.Beautiful people do not just happen.

~Elizabeth kubler

There are days when things are not the way you had hoped they would be. At other times you may feel disappointed.

During such times, continue to trust your judgment and values. Keep following your chosen path. Accept the challenges and look for their solutions. Don’t just focus on the problems.

It is definitely not easy, but in such times of Struggle, you can be your strongest support system.

Work out the changes that need to be made. It may mean changing your mindset or your goals, changing your course of action to overcome the hurdles and blocks.

Find a solution, implement it and do away with the problem.

Remember to believe in yourself !

WONDERFUL JOURNEY TO MOTHERHOOD

“Pregnancy and motherhood are the most beautiful and significantly life altering events that i have ever experienced ” -Elizabeth Hasselbeck

This is so true! Journey to motherhood ie pregnancy is a unique and incomparable experience, for the mother and also for the whole family of the yet to be born baby.
The moment pregnancy is confirmed a woman’s life undergoes a shift-in terms of view point, new perspectives, sense of responsibility etc. It is never the same as before.

This is the moment of true realization for her, of being a co- creator in the mammoth task of life creation on this planet and of nurturing it. It is a moment of profound awakening also, vastly spiritual in its true essence.

It’s an amazingly beautiful journey,no doubt, but it is not easy.

“Going into a pregnancy is a really challenging time for a woman because it is forever changing, both mentally and physically.”
-Brooke Burke

After the conception is confirmed, proper care, caution and rest should be taken. A special pregnancy diet as advised by the nutritionist should be consumed to ensure the proper development of the growing fetus inside the womb of the mother. All the doctor recommended tests should be taken to avoid any complications in the pregnancy, also it becomes much easier to tackle any problems if that comes into notice early on.

The journey of pregnancy is dotted with myriad experiences, some happy and some little tough but learning ones nevertheless. It can also have a lot of ups and downs, the best way to handle is not to get worried and stressed but take decisions with a calm mind.

“To be pregnant is to be vitally alive, thoroughly woman, and distressingly inhabited. Soul and spirit are stretched along with body- making pregnancy, a time of transition, growth, and profound beginnings.” -Anne Christian Buchanan

The mom to be is pampered by almost everyone around her. She learns to connect with her own self at a totally new level. This is the time when the pregnant woman needs the love, care and support of all family members and colleagues at her work place.

During this time, the woman undergoes tremendous changes, psychological as well as physical. Her body image is completely altered, which might sometimes need extra effort to b e accepted initially. It makes her feel conscious and inhibited in the starting days. Constant support and positive encouragement is the key to help her take steps forward in right direction for the well being of both mother and the baby.

All her cravings, demands and tantrums should be handled patiently as she is going through a life altering experience which can be tough and rough at times with problems like nausea, stretch marks, constant tiredness, swelling in the feet etc. Most of these problems can be handled easily, owing to the various options available nowdays. For stretch marks, Marico Bio Oil is a safe and very useful remedy which is recommended by most doctors. It has been tried and tested by health professionals for its efficiency.

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Thus one can strive to be a #YummyMummy as long as one desires by eating right, doing mild exercises to stay fit and utilising the latest options available to enjoy this journey celebrating life in all its hues and myriad shades.

“A baby is something you carry inside you for nine months, in your arms for three years and in your heart until the day you die”
– Mary Mason

“I’m writing about my wonderful journey of pregnancy for the#YummyMummy blogging activity at BlogAdda in association with Marico Bio Oil.”

images courtesy: blogadda , pixabay.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

FESTIVAL OF COLORS- HOLI !

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As the festival of colors- Holi approaches every year in March i get all excited as this is the most vibrant festival of our country filled with loads of fun and frolic which spreads good cheer and happiness all around. It has always been my favorite festivals amongst the many festivals we celebrate in India. As you all know there are dozens of festivals that are celebrated in India; this is why it is called the land of festivals.

Off course the most attractive and enchanting thing about holi for me are the colors- the different hues of all the shades of rainbow can be seen every where during holi- in markets, on pavement shops selling brightly colored holi caps, water guns and gulal.

I think it is these beautiful array of colors, spread all around and the cheer they bring about in everyone’s heart and mind is what makes holi the favorite festival of kids of our country. All kids play it with great enthusiasm irrespective of their religion, caste or social standing. There is no difference for them while applying colors. Their only motto is to completely paint the other person in all possible shades. We adults get to relive our childhood days through the fun shared in this festival and revive all the wonderful memories of days gone by.

I particularly remember the holi I used to play at my native place with my grand parents and numerous cousins. Almost all the uncles and aunts living in distant places made it a point to come to our ancestral home during holi. I felt, the more the number of people gathered more would be the enjoyment. The actual preparations would start around a week in advance.

 

The best part was, we didn’t use any synthetic colors for playing holi; instead we collected tesu flowers ( yellowish orange colored fragrant flowers which are abundantly found growing in that season in north Indian region) and soaked them in water for a couple of days to prepare a color concentrate which could be diluted with more water to play holi on the day of the actual festival. The greatest advantage of using this color was that it was not harmful to the skin, eyes or hair as it was completely natural and herbal.As the flowers carried a beautiful soothing fragrance, the whole atmosphere would be filled with nice scent when colored water was thrown on each other during holi. This was a real feast for my olfactory senses.

Talking of feast, my mom and aunts would get busy preparing delicacies like gujias, chiwra, wadas, days in advance. Some of us elder kids were allowed to help in shaping the gujiyas which is an art in itself. We felt as if we had accomplished a big feat if our gujiya turned out in good shape and would display it to other cousins and relatives as if it was a hard earned medal.

On the eve of holi festival, holika dahan (sacred bonfire) would be performed at a big ground where all the neighbors and extended family members would gather together. This was a religious ritual where certain mantras were chanted and hymns sung making the experience very spiritual and pious. It symbolises the victory of good over evil, thus imparting important live lessons to all of us, especially the youngsters. We felt encouraged to follow the right path in life, no matter how hard the circumstances.

On the eve before the festival, we kept everything ready for the next day of non stop fun before sleeping so that we could indulge in revelry as soon as we woke up. But my most cherished memory is of the naughty prank we would play on our sleeping cousins during night itself; that was making mustache on their face with kajal (kohl pencil) or lipstick . We used to have a whale of time doing this…the hardest part was to control our laughter during the drawing lest they woke up. The whole house would crack up on seeing their cartoonish faces the next morning. The unsuspecting victims would be at a perpetual loss to understand what was eliciting such strange reaction in which ever room they entered. The mystery was solved for them only when they saw themselves in the mirror. Some younger ones, would get the shock of their life on seeing their own unrecognizable vistas in the mirror and get scared on encountering the stranger in the mirror 🙂

 

No one would get offended as motto of holi is #bura na mano holi hai. Mischief is allowed during this festival. Soon after stuffing ourselves with the delicacies, we would gather our colors, water balloons and water guns and  apply coconut oil on our skin and hair to avoid any damage and to make the task of removing color after holi easier. And also, as the season is changing during this time, application of coconut oil is good for our body systems according to ayurveda.

We would go out in groups to our friends’ house and soak them in color to our heart’s content. In each house, there would be plates full of dahi wadas, chats and glasses full of cool thandai kept ready for us to recharge our battery before we attacked  another group of friends with our colors. It seemed our energy reserves on holi day were beyond getting exhausted. We enjoyed the freedom of fun and mischief for along time and didnot stop till we were called by adults to do so, who were probably scared that we might catch a cold in our soaked clothes. But for us, there were no worries, only  unstoppable fun and feast with friends and family. As the festival came only once a year, we waned to make the most of this time.Those are some of the memories i completely cherish whenever i go down memory lane. If i could have my way, i would have holi more often.

As the evening approached, and we had rested after taking the bath for removing layers of colors, the atmosphere would get reverberated with the sound of drums(dhols). It was now time for some dhol dance where we danced away  with friends and cousins without a care in the world and enjoyed to the fullest.

Now we have to play it with some responsibility. As their is scarcity of water everywhere these days, it would be best to play dry holi to save water. It would be inhuman to waste precious water for our fun when scores of others are struggling even to get drinking water. I would request everyone to play their part at individual level to address this issue.

Please use herbal colors to play holi as they are safe for us as well as for the environment. chemical colors cause water pollution and are very harmful for ecological balance.

 

 

“I’m pledging to #KhulKeKheloHoli this year by sharing my Holi memories atBlogAdda in association with Parachute Advansed.”

 

Share The Load!

Sonia had just returned from school and was too tired to even take out her lunch from the refrigerator and heat it in the microwave, although she was feeling hungry. Actually she was not used to serving her own lunch as her mother would always keep it ready for her(all hot and inviting with its wonderful aroma) on the dining table as soon as she returned from school. But today, things were different as her mom was running high fever and thus was not in a condition to pamper her as usual.

After she had rested for a while she went to the kitchen and heated it and sat down to finish it hurriedly as she had to rush over to her tuition class as final exams were about to start within a couple of days.

She had barely gobbled down the last spoon of her sambhar-rice when she heard the horn of a school bus just down the street from her house. This must be her elder brother’s school bus, she said to herself. Soon enough her brother Rishab rushed into the house. He asked Sonia for some cool water to quench his thirst as the raging heat outside had taken its toll on him. Sonia  willingly obliged and offered him a glass of cool water.

Sonia went to the study room to finish the home work assigned by her tuition teacher. Just then, Rishab cruised in and asked her to get his lunch for him . Sonia advised him to help himself and do the needful. But Rishab argued back that kitchen work was the domain of females and almost all his friends thought so. He narrated the affairs from his friend Atul’s house where all kitchen work was always handle by his mom or his sister.

Although Sonia did not endorse or support Rishab’s views and behavior but as she did not want to disturb her mom’s restful slumber, she obliged and brought lunch for her brother.

She hurriedly headed to her tuition class and was busy there the whole evening. When she returned home after the class, she was happy to see her father who had just come back from office. Her mom had also woken up by now and she looked refreshed and felt much better now. All of them started sharing anecdotes about how their day went,what each one did either in school or office.

Next day was sport’s day in their school but her brother was worried and looked sad as his sports uniform was still not washed and ready. He asked Sonia to wash it for him. Sonia refused point blank and also narrated the afternoon incidence about lunch to her parents.

Their parents were surprised to know that Rishab harbored such wrong notions about household work. They asked him from where had he picked up such prejudiced believes because they never followed such  biased and obsolete stereotypes in their family home. they had always practiced complete gender equality in terms of house work sharing whether it was laundry, dusting or cooking. Sonia’s dad would often help her mom around the house. They loved to try out new tasty recipes  in the kitchen together and the kids would happily relish those.

On further enquiry, Rishab opened up about how most of his friends shied away from house work as they considered it to be the sole responsibility of the females in their house. Their dad slightly admonished him for following the wrong examples and explained to him that work is work and should be shared equally among all the members of the family irrespective of gender. Off course, they are free to pick up work according to their liking and talent. He advised him to learn from correct role models to lead a happy life in the future and chose believes properly with complete awareness. What he learns and follows in his growing up years will become ingrained in his psyche and define him in his adulthood.

Rishab looked really enlightened from all the nice wisdom bestowed upon him by his parents as he rushed towards the washing machine to wash his sports day uniform. Within half an hour he had his dress washed and in fact he really enjoyed trying out a new chore.

He promised to himself that from now onwards he will follow his parents’ example and advice to bring about a positive change among his group of friends and also society at large. This definitely is the correct path towards all round progress and development.

 

I am joining the Ariel #ShareTheLoad campaign at BlogAdda and blogging about the prejudice related to household chores being passed on to the next generation.

Laughter uncontrolled !

To recall a time when i laughed uncontrollably…i am taken back in time to this particular incident when i was in college.  We had organised a new year’s party in our engineering college campus. There was lot of fun and revelry which continued well past the midnight.

Just before the party was about to end, there was a slight disagreement between two of my friends Rahul and Mahesh regarding the music that the DJ was playing; soon this escalated to  a full  verbal duel . Rest of us some how managed to calm them down till the party ended.

But on reaching the hostel, Rahul was still simmering with anger. He was my roomie so i had to tolerate his constant rant against Mahesh’s behavior. I tried to convince him to go to sleep but in vain.

Out of irritation and anger he decided to send Mahesh an SMS filled with choicest four letter words. He rested only after he had sent that message. He looked quite content and proceeded to show me the message content he had forwarded.

On taking a closer look at the name of the recipient i was shocked to my core…the recipient was not our class mate Mahesh but our mechanics professor Mahesh .S.

Probably blinded by hurry,tiredness and anger Rahul had forwarded the message to the wrong person…..in fact very wrong person!

What happened after that and how Rahul managed to convince the professor about the truth is a long story. But he, over night became the comedy king for us and till this day all the batch mates burst into uncontrolled laughter when ever we remember that event…now even Rahul manages to laugh on it but this was not the case when he had discovered the error that eventful night 🙂

 

Roaring Laughter

Quote I Believe In

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All’s Well That Ends Well !

Quote Me

 

I believe once the trials and tribulations are over ,one should focus on the good end results that have been achieved out of the difficulties.

There is no sense in wasting time,feelings and emotions on what was not so good in the journey if the end results are positive.

LAUGH,LOVE,LIVE !

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Posted on January 30, 2016January 30, 2016 by AryanIronMan

 

It’s something of altruism that if one knows to laugh well,only then can he live well.

 

Role of laughter in love relationships is very vital. It cannot be over emphasized. Two people cannot coexist peacefully if they cannot laugh together and enjoy it.This can be taken as a measuring scale of how true and deep the relationship is.

 

If the love is real,a person will definitely try to make the partner happy,relaxed and calm.What better way than a dose of humor to cool down hassled nerves?

 

Lack of humor in any relationship can be a warning sign. It should be taken seriously and amends should be made by consciously adding a wholesome dose of laughter in your interactions with your love partner.

 

When you can laugh on small witty episodes,then this means you can also find joy in the little pleasures of life.You and your partner can cruise over the ups and downs of life successfully with a shared sense of humor.

 

Laughter also has physiological health benefits which is good enough reason to make your partner  laugh more if you genuinely love him/her.

 

Some of the benefits of laughter are:-

1) enhances immunity

2) reduces blood pressure

3) boon for respiratory and cardiovascular system

4) increases natural painkillers in the blood

5) helps in reducing stress and tension

 

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Thus learning to laugh is a very useful tool and life lesson.It enhances the overall well being of a person and also of those around him as it is contagious.It a spreads fast to bring cheer all around.

 

It has often been observed that people who are funny are ‘survivors’ in real life.They have learned to smile inspite of the hardships they faced. They use comedy to hide their emotional trauma and tears.They have decided to choose optimism over pessimism and to move forward in life with full   enthusiasm.

 

According to a research done by Stanford university using MRI scans,men are hardwired to produce humor while women are programmed to appreciate humor. This explains why laughter has such an important well fitted role in the dynamics of love relationships.

 

Laughter makes the bond of love stronger,closer and log lasting.It proves to be a breath of fresh air for relationship.

 

Lot of relationship problems can be solved and handled effectively in the light, friendly atmosphere when humor is used intelligently.

 

Partner who has a great sense of humor is a true blessing as he /she can provide much needed respite from any stressful situation which are so common place in today’s fast paced world.

 

A funny man is a real heart stealer,according to most women who were surveyed for a study.

Marilyn Monroe had also famously said”If you can make a woman laugh you can make her do anything”.

‘Anything’most definitely includes love at the top of the list.

If you can laugh together you can love and live together.

Keep laughing and loving !

 

This post is a part of #LoveAndLaughter activity atBlogAdda in association withCaratlane.”

Image courtesy: pixabay.com(free domain)

video courtesy: Blogadda.com

 

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