The Story Of A Suicide!

“In everybody’s life there’s a point of no return. And in a very few cases, a point where you can’t go forward anymore. And when we reach that point, all we can do is quietly accept the fact. That’s how we survive.”

                         ~Haruki Murakami,

 

Life is a constant struggle. No one down the ages has ever said that it would be easy. One has to pass through several trials and tribulations in the journey of life on a regular basis and overcome the hurdles to survive in this world.Humans seem to be hardwired to adapt to their circumstances and find ways to challenge any threat they face and come out victorious most often.

 

Each human has this inherent desire for living n surviving even in the hardest of circumstances and conditions.Generally, this human spirit of strength prevails and the person remains afloat in the whirlpool of life in spite of hundreds of setbacks and failures, in hope for better times ahead.

 

But sometimes, there  comes a point when all hope shatters, and one feels completely helpless and defeated in the race of life. There seems to be no solution to the problems they are facing, there is no way in sight to escape from where they are stuck.They start considering themselves as total failures. At this point, they think that only way to end their suffering  and pain is to end their lives. The thought of suicide grips them and entangles them completely.

 

To kill is not easy! and to kill one’s own self, even more so!

 

So why are they strong enough to kill themselves but not strong enough to live?

 

Is it that they have not failed, BUT, the society, the world  has failed them?

 

Such drastic steps come to mind when there is no hope left, person becomes totally hopeless. Humans need hope to live their lives and face the difficulties and hardships, in anticipation of a brighter and better tomorrow. Hope takes away the pain of today and washes away the frustration of the past regrets. Without hope, it becomes difficult to face the stark realities of life.

 

Recently i read the novel ‘THE STORY OF A SUICIDE ‘on this important issue by Sriram Ayer. In this, the stories of Hari, Charu, Sam and Mani have been narrated in a gripping style. The lives of these four youngsters are connected through a web of love, passion, revenge and deceit. The story line is powerful and the struggles of the young people have been very well verbalized through the story. The book can be read here http://www.storyofasuicide.com

It is a very good attempt to reach out to youngsters and make them understand their emotions and reactions better. After each chapter of the book, there is a information and guidance section with  how to overcome, do’s and don’t on various relevant topics like depression, heartbreak, loss, failure, harassment, sexual abuse, loneliness, complicated relationships, hurt,sadness and the proper course of action in such circumstances is suggested in a very comprehensive format. This feature is really commendable and makes the novel a self help guide. http://www.storyofasuicide.com/how-do-i-all.html
The book successfully highlights the important topics of societal prejudices and stereotyping, judgmental attitude about sexual orientation of an individual, sexual abuse stigma, harassment and lack of support system for those who are in distress.
Different chapters of the book bring forth  the struggles and hurdles the characters come across in their lives and how the society adds to making live hell for them. How Hari is judged for being a gay, Charu for being an independent minded strong girl,Mani for his poverty and lack of English know how and how Sam reacts irrationally to un-reciprocated love and  Is not society meant to have a cushioning and supporting effect for its individuals in times of need? The societal expectations and conformist attitude plays a havoc in their lives and almost  drives them insane. Once their emotions start the downward spiral towards regret,sadness, guilt or fear, their mental frame work seems to be out of control.
The human behavior and its shortcomings are nicely depicted. The book is truly a mirror to present day society and its parameters of judgement. We regularly come across similar cases in mainstream media. But raising such issues is just not enough, long term feasible solutions need to be discussed and found for such issues. This book is a strong step in such  a direction.
Some lines worth highlighting which had a deep impact on me are mentioned below

Believe In Yourself During Times Of Struggle !

The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern.Beautiful people do not just happen.

~Elizabeth kubler

There are days when things are not the way you had hoped they would be. At other times you may feel disappointed.

During such times, continue to trust your judgment and values. Keep following your chosen path. Accept the challenges and look for their solutions. Don’t just focus on the problems.

It is definitely not easy, but in such times of Struggle, you can be your strongest support system.

Work out the changes that need to be made. It may mean changing your mindset or your goals, changing your course of action to overcome the hurdles and blocks.

Find a solution, implement it and do away with the problem.

Remember to believe in yourself !

Share The Load to Reduce Gender Prejudices in Gen Next!

The prejudices of gender discrimination are deep rooted in our society. There is some improvement in urban house holds regarding the division and sharing of tasks at home but generally it is still considered the responsibility of the women folk of the house. The scenario is even worse in the rural or less educated segments of society. Right from childhood, the children get to see gender inequality in their homes and in the society at large, they thus form gender stereotypes in their minds which are highly incorrect in this modern progressive world, where gender equality is not just a matter of choice but an urgent need of the hour.

We need to modify the image of stereotypical work sharing in house holds where a girl is understood to be the one performing tasks like cooking and cleaning while boys are prepared for a life of earning the livelihood for the family. This distorted image results in developing a mindset in children which is detrimental to the true development of their overall personality making them fit to be the global citizens in the future who qual respect for th the genders and who value respect for everyone without any underlying prejudices.

We should formulate a plan on how to teach our kids the basic lessons of gender equality, which are best learned starting from home.

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From early childhood, boys should be encouraged to help their mothers just like their sisters do, in the house work. Parents can start with small tasks like serving water or refreshments to the guests, laying out the table for dinner or hanging out clothes to dry.They should be appreciated for their efforts regardless of the mistakes they might make initially. This will instill confidence in them to do such tasks own and also the concept of gender equality will get ingrained in them to the core. They will not look down with scorn or indifference upon household chores as being outside their domain and responsibility even when they grow into adults.

To reduce gender prejudices in gen next, we need a particular targeted approach. It should be our collective mission to raise kids who believe in gender equality, not just in their homes but also in the outside world.They should be made to learn that, in this modern era, no job is gender specific anymore. It is said that best way to teach kids is to teach them through example. So, the  role of fathers is of paramount importance to rear gender sensitive kids in the family. They should share the house work load with their wives, moms and sisters at home and set a good example for children to follow. Children learn the fastest through observation.

These basic ethics learned by children in their growing – up formative years play a vital role in their personality development and the values they will uphold in future. This phase will decide what they will stand for in their adult life.The right set of values becomes a permanent fixture in their mental realms.

The change should start right now to develop future generations for whom gender inequality is a strange concept. The children who see equality in their homes now, will bring up their own kids in a way where gender discrimination will be an entirely unthinkable, unfathomable and alien issue.

This way, we can nip the prejudice of yester -years and backward mindsets in the bud stage itself. This will ensure a long term solution to this problem of gender prejudices.

The progressive initiative of #sharetheload  taken up by Blogadda, Ariel and Akshara is a major step in the right direction to harbinger a positive change in the society.

I am taking part in the #ShareTheLoad Challenge with Ariel and Aksharaat BlogAdda.

 

 

 

 

 

WONDERFUL JOURNEY TO MOTHERHOOD

“Pregnancy and motherhood are the most beautiful and significantly life altering events that i have ever experienced ” -Elizabeth Hasselbeck

This is so true! Journey to motherhood ie pregnancy is a unique and incomparable experience, for the mother and also for the whole family of the yet to be born baby.
The moment pregnancy is confirmed a woman’s life undergoes a shift-in terms of view point, new perspectives, sense of responsibility etc. It is never the same as before.

This is the moment of true realization for her, of being a co- creator in the mammoth task of life creation on this planet and of nurturing it. It is a moment of profound awakening also, vastly spiritual in its true essence.

It’s an amazingly beautiful journey,no doubt, but it is not easy.

“Going into a pregnancy is a really challenging time for a woman because it is forever changing, both mentally and physically.”
-Brooke Burke

After the conception is confirmed, proper care, caution and rest should be taken. A special pregnancy diet as advised by the nutritionist should be consumed to ensure the proper development of the growing fetus inside the womb of the mother. All the doctor recommended tests should be taken to avoid any complications in the pregnancy, also it becomes much easier to tackle any problems if that comes into notice early on.

The journey of pregnancy is dotted with myriad experiences, some happy and some little tough but learning ones nevertheless. It can also have a lot of ups and downs, the best way to handle is not to get worried and stressed but take decisions with a calm mind.

“To be pregnant is to be vitally alive, thoroughly woman, and distressingly inhabited. Soul and spirit are stretched along with body- making pregnancy, a time of transition, growth, and profound beginnings.” -Anne Christian Buchanan

The mom to be is pampered by almost everyone around her. She learns to connect with her own self at a totally new level. This is the time when the pregnant woman needs the love, care and support of all family members and colleagues at her work place.

During this time, the woman undergoes tremendous changes, psychological as well as physical. Her body image is completely altered, which might sometimes need extra effort to b e accepted initially. It makes her feel conscious and inhibited in the starting days. Constant support and positive encouragement is the key to help her take steps forward in right direction for the well being of both mother and the baby.

All her cravings, demands and tantrums should be handled patiently as she is going through a life altering experience which can be tough and rough at times with problems like nausea, stretch marks, constant tiredness, swelling in the feet etc. Most of these problems can be handled easily, owing to the various options available nowdays. For stretch marks, Marico Bio Oil is a safe and very useful remedy which is recommended by most doctors. It has been tried and tested by health professionals for its efficiency.

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Thus one can strive to be a #YummyMummy as long as one desires by eating right, doing mild exercises to stay fit and utilising the latest options available to enjoy this journey celebrating life in all its hues and myriad shades.

“A baby is something you carry inside you for nine months, in your arms for three years and in your heart until the day you die”
– Mary Mason

“I’m writing about my wonderful journey of pregnancy for the#YummyMummy blogging activity at BlogAdda in association with Marico Bio Oil.”

images courtesy: blogadda , pixabay.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Share The Load!

Sonia had just returned from school and was too tired to even take out her lunch from the refrigerator and heat it in the microwave, although she was feeling hungry. Actually she was not used to serving her own lunch as her mother would always keep it ready for her(all hot and inviting with its wonderful aroma) on the dining table as soon as she returned from school. But today, things were different as her mom was running high fever and thus was not in a condition to pamper her as usual.

After she had rested for a while she went to the kitchen and heated it and sat down to finish it hurriedly as she had to rush over to her tuition class as final exams were about to start within a couple of days.

She had barely gobbled down the last spoon of her sambhar-rice when she heard the horn of a school bus just down the street from her house. This must be her elder brother’s school bus, she said to herself. Soon enough her brother Rishab rushed into the house. He asked Sonia for some cool water to quench his thirst as the raging heat outside had taken its toll on him. Sonia  willingly obliged and offered him a glass of cool water.

Sonia went to the study room to finish the home work assigned by her tuition teacher. Just then, Rishab cruised in and asked her to get his lunch for him . Sonia advised him to help himself and do the needful. But Rishab argued back that kitchen work was the domain of females and almost all his friends thought so. He narrated the affairs from his friend Atul’s house where all kitchen work was always handle by his mom or his sister.

Although Sonia did not endorse or support Rishab’s views and behavior but as she did not want to disturb her mom’s restful slumber, she obliged and brought lunch for her brother.

She hurriedly headed to her tuition class and was busy there the whole evening. When she returned home after the class, she was happy to see her father who had just come back from office. Her mom had also woken up by now and she looked refreshed and felt much better now. All of them started sharing anecdotes about how their day went,what each one did either in school or office.

Next day was sport’s day in their school but her brother was worried and looked sad as his sports uniform was still not washed and ready. He asked Sonia to wash it for him. Sonia refused point blank and also narrated the afternoon incidence about lunch to her parents.

Their parents were surprised to know that Rishab harbored such wrong notions about household work. They asked him from where had he picked up such prejudiced believes because they never followed such  biased and obsolete stereotypes in their family home. they had always practiced complete gender equality in terms of house work sharing whether it was laundry, dusting or cooking. Sonia’s dad would often help her mom around the house. They loved to try out new tasty recipes  in the kitchen together and the kids would happily relish those.

On further enquiry, Rishab opened up about how most of his friends shied away from house work as they considered it to be the sole responsibility of the females in their house. Their dad slightly admonished him for following the wrong examples and explained to him that work is work and should be shared equally among all the members of the family irrespective of gender. Off course, they are free to pick up work according to their liking and talent. He advised him to learn from correct role models to lead a happy life in the future and chose believes properly with complete awareness. What he learns and follows in his growing up years will become ingrained in his psyche and define him in his adulthood.

Rishab looked really enlightened from all the nice wisdom bestowed upon him by his parents as he rushed towards the washing machine to wash his sports day uniform. Within half an hour he had his dress washed and in fact he really enjoyed trying out a new chore.

He promised to himself that from now onwards he will follow his parents’ example and advice to bring about a positive change among his group of friends and also society at large. This definitely is the correct path towards all round progress and development.

 

I am joining the Ariel #ShareTheLoad campaign at BlogAdda and blogging about the prejudice related to household chores being passed on to the next generation.

BE THE CHANGE !!

I am joining the Ariel #ShareTheLoad campaign at BlogAdda and blogging about the prejudice related to household chores being passed on to the next generation.

 

In today’s Indian society, women are conquering what were till now, the unchartered territories. Whether it is the field of engineering, medicine, finance, armed forces or aviation, women of our nation are making their mark in all fields. They are contributing positively to the society and nation as well with their intelligence and hard work.

When the matter concerns the home front, their contribution is equally praiseworthy and most often they share the maximum load of work in this arena. The division of house work is uneven and unbalanced.

 

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House hold chores like cooking, cleaning and washing clothes were traditionally considered as a women’s preserve and sole responsibility. Women have since ages, willingly or unwillingly followed this prejudiced belief.

This stereotype has been perpetuated since many generations and has therefore become deeply ingrained in the psyche of almost all members of our society. Menfolk generally don’t share the responsibility of house chores. Some  advertisements  and serials in the visual media play a negative role in promoting harmful stereotypes of women in the predominantly patriarchal society.

No doubt, two out of three children think that household work and washing clothes is a mother’s job. Children will naturally believe what they observe around them. Home is considered to be the first school for children. They learn their core believes and mannerisms here. When children observe such disparity amongst the two genders regarding household chores, where in mom does most of the house work and dad hardly ever contributes in it …they take it to be the correct and proper belief and tend to learn the same behavior.

The children are bound to carry such faulty and prejudiced believes into their adulthood. Thus the behavior of parents at home acts as a means of passing wrong opinions  to the younger generation.

According to the survey, 65% of married men in India agree that their children replicate their behavior at home. Hence it is high time to change the mindset prevailing in our society. Children are the future of our society and also the nation. Thus it is very important to impart right values to kids at home itself.

Children wrapped in their little worlds readily believe what is presented before their wonder filled eyes and inquisitive developing minds. Children can be the driving change in the society and play an important role in breaking such prejudices and stereotypes, helping to establish equal and balanced society.

Children should be encouraged to engage in thoughtful action and not follow the traditions or customs which are outdated and obsolete. This is possible if they notice such examples of equality of genders in their own homes since early childhood.

In some homes, the equations have already undergone vast shifts- the husband and wife help each other in running the family and share house work through combined effort. In other homes, the scenario is slowly but surely changing. Some modern couples no longer see the house chores as a women’s exclusive duty. Men are trying to pitch in. With the advent of highly advanced gadgets like automatic washing machines etc., it has become easy for men to do chores as laundry also, as there is no need of experiential expertise required.

We have to change the dynamics of our homes and the ways we function so that women enjoy total equality.Man and woman must try to share equal domestic responsibilities. Right example must be set for children to follow. The children will thus learn the correct lessons and will be sensitized early on about the equality of genders even in house holds.They should be educated about gender equality in schools as well. The mainstream media should also understand the huge impact it has on young minds and depict behaviors in a responsible manner. This will go a long way in bringing about total balance and harmony in our homes and therefore in our society as well.

 

pic credit : BlogAdda.com

Quote I Believe In

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All’s Well That Ends Well !

Quote Me

 

I believe once the trials and tribulations are over ,one should focus on the good end results that have been achieved out of the difficulties.

There is no sense in wasting time,feelings and emotions on what was not so good in the journey if the end results are positive.

HELP A CHILD STUDY AND BUILD A BETTER FUTURE !

There are thousands of children in our country who have a deep desire to study and learn but they are not able to fulfill this because of lack of resources. Children are the future of the society and nation.These children also have a lot of talent and capabilities within them which can shine through if they get a chance to nurture them.

Let us share a little of the abundance which God has bestowed upon us and provide a helping hand.

Sharing is caring and it helps in multiplying love,satisfaction,happiness and abundance.

Education can ensure their well being and provide them security of a better life in future. As responsible citizens of our country it is our duty to do whatever is possible in our capacity to provide help in achieving this humanitarian task.

When children of a nation progress,the future of the country will be bright and the country as a whole will progress and prosper.

Thanking you in advance !

Activity: Help A Child to Study sponsors the higher education of meritorious underprivileged students, supporting them to achieve dreams of a better future. We sponsor all formal courses above 10th, including 11th and 12th, diploma courses, degree courses, B.E., M.B.B.S. and Postgrad. Through education our students are able to escape the cycle of poverty through their own talents.

Details: We are very proud of our students – who are the children of labourers, small scale farmers, weavers and other families with low incomes. These students have enormous potential to succeed and only need financial support to do so. We are thrilled that today some of our graduates are placed with large companies such as Mahindra Tech, L&T, and TATA Consultancy Services.

Support: Education, higher education, sponsorship of students.

Note: We are looking for financial donations to support the higher education of our students, most of whom live in rural areas of Maharashtra and Karnataka.

This post is a part of BlogAdda’s Bloggers Social Responsibility (BSR) initiative. I am exercising my BSR. You can too with three simple steps. Visit http://www.blogadda.com/bsr/ and support the NGO’s.

LAUGH,LOVE,LIVE !

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Posted on January 30, 2016January 30, 2016 by AryanIronMan

 

It’s something of altruism that if one knows to laugh well,only then can he live well.

 

Role of laughter in love relationships is very vital. It cannot be over emphasized. Two people cannot coexist peacefully if they cannot laugh together and enjoy it.This can be taken as a measuring scale of how true and deep the relationship is.

 

If the love is real,a person will definitely try to make the partner happy,relaxed and calm.What better way than a dose of humor to cool down hassled nerves?

 

Lack of humor in any relationship can be a warning sign. It should be taken seriously and amends should be made by consciously adding a wholesome dose of laughter in your interactions with your love partner.

 

When you can laugh on small witty episodes,then this means you can also find joy in the little pleasures of life.You and your partner can cruise over the ups and downs of life successfully with a shared sense of humor.

 

Laughter also has physiological health benefits which is good enough reason to make your partner  laugh more if you genuinely love him/her.

 

Some of the benefits of laughter are:-

1) enhances immunity

2) reduces blood pressure

3) boon for respiratory and cardiovascular system

4) increases natural painkillers in the blood

5) helps in reducing stress and tension

 

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Thus learning to laugh is a very useful tool and life lesson.It enhances the overall well being of a person and also of those around him as it is contagious.It a spreads fast to bring cheer all around.

 

It has often been observed that people who are funny are ‘survivors’ in real life.They have learned to smile inspite of the hardships they faced. They use comedy to hide their emotional trauma and tears.They have decided to choose optimism over pessimism and to move forward in life with full   enthusiasm.

 

According to a research done by Stanford university using MRI scans,men are hardwired to produce humor while women are programmed to appreciate humor. This explains why laughter has such an important well fitted role in the dynamics of love relationships.

 

Laughter makes the bond of love stronger,closer and log lasting.It proves to be a breath of fresh air for relationship.

 

Lot of relationship problems can be solved and handled effectively in the light, friendly atmosphere when humor is used intelligently.

 

Partner who has a great sense of humor is a true blessing as he /she can provide much needed respite from any stressful situation which are so common place in today’s fast paced world.

 

A funny man is a real heart stealer,according to most women who were surveyed for a study.

Marilyn Monroe had also famously said”If you can make a woman laugh you can make her do anything”.

‘Anything’most definitely includes love at the top of the list.

If you can laugh together you can love and live together.

Keep laughing and loving !

 

This post is a part of #LoveAndLaughter activity atBlogAdda in association withCaratlane.”

Image courtesy: pixabay.com(free domain)

video courtesy: Blogadda.com

 

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